The Mango Rap
by John Carr
Count Down fruit and veg,pokin’ at da pears,
Along comes a mama with the bling bling ears.
Dis Dolly gotta trolley widda big kid in,
Got his hands fulla mangoes from the fiddy cent bin.
Fiddy who? Fiddy what? Fiddy where? Fiddy when?
I don’t care where, where, where Fiddy’s bin.
Well da dolly widda trolley she try da squeeze through,
And da kid widda mangoes,
he throw me one or two. So I move to the left, to the left , real slow,
Yeah, quite a bit slower than the first mango.
And it hit me in da chest but it diddin really hurt
Cos the thing hit da bling on my Medic Alert.
I say Medic Alert, Judges please take note,
Because the J Dogg’s lookin for the sympathy vote.
But the second one got me, got me like a log,
In the buttock department of the lower J Dogg.
Well dis wasn’t welcomed by the J Dogg Carr
Cos a mango make a man go waa waa waa!
And I hit the ground, hollerin’ and hootin’
I just become a victim drive-by fruitin’.
I’m hit, I’m hit, I’m hit, no shit I bin frot in da bot on da part where I sit.
I bin frot in da bot on da part where I sit.
I got a haematoma happening on the back of it.
Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me?
Do I look like a unit of the G variety?
When Tupac and Biggie was living on the edge,
They never copped a mango in da fruit and veg.
Well the mutha looks around to see what her kid has done
I’m lyin’ on da ground checking bruises on my bun,
And she looks me up and down with a full body scan
That says a fruity booty J Dogg is her kinda man.
I say fruity booty J Dogg is her kinda man.
Well that’s a kinda sentiment that I can understand.
So I jump to my feet, with the mango still in place,
With a “Yo Mama! Go Mama!,” look upon my face.
And with a subtle gimme shimmy that a blind man couldn’t miss
I say “How many dudes you know move like this?”
I say “How many dudes you know move like this?”
She said “I’m really sorry sugar for what my kid has done,
He’s a monster with the mangoes but he thinks he’s having fun.
She said “I’m not a good mother, brutha what can I do?”
I said, “Get to know me baby, I’m a bad mutha too.”
I say, “Get to know me baby, I’m a bad mutha too.”
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- The Launch of “Live” @ The Library Bar
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- Host Michelle Bolton
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- Guest Poet Gus Simonovic
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- Guest Poet Gus Simonovic
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- Guest Poet Gus Simonovic
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- Sarah Spence
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- A Delightful Audience
